Post by CoreySmith on Mar 28, 2020 15:13:14 GMT -8
Inexplicably, you see The Engineer sitting in a high backed chair next to a roaring fire. He holds up a wine glass as though offering you a “cheers” before taking a sip and setting it down beside him.
Hello Fuzz. And welcome to the B-side. A hidden promo within a promo! Pretty sure I'm the first one to ever do this and yes, I'm really very proud of myself. Now, a bit of explanation is in order. Why hide this promo? Well, because I don't want you to know that I know that you're going to cash in. The people that NEED to know will see this. But you won't ever find it, because honestly....you're kind of a moron. So, hidden within the coding and bops and whistles of my final promotional effort for March Madness...here we are.
Now let ME get one thing out of the way: you're a BITCH. You have always been a bitch and you will always be a bitch. I'll tell you again at March Madness in fact when I flush this whole plan of yours down the crapper. Now I know you'll beg to differ with my appraisal that you're a bitch, but you would be wrong because you, like many bitches, enjoy tucking your genitals between your thighs and urinating in complete submission whenever I approach.
You're a BITCH because your idea of being this irreverent heel badass is shitting up Twitter and breaking up with Atara Themis like five times a day because you forgot to take your bipolar medication. Your idea of being a tough guy is renaming your Twitter handle things like “broken” like you're some menstruating teenage girl who's desperate for attention.
You're also a BITCH because, like the other assholes I mentioned in my promo, you have continued to insist that your cowardice is about ME and not about YOU. You keep saying that I don't matter to you. You keep saying that my title reign is a joke when in reality, it's because melodramatic piss babies like you know you can't beat me, so you've spent the last 3 months mounting a transparent attempt to somehow seem like you're above me when in fact you're just SCARED of me.
Fuzz, if you were a true “legend” you'd be taking care of business. You'd be dropping your nuts on the table and showing this “worthless champion” what for. But you didn't do that. No, you're going to try to cash in on me instead. You're going to ambush me because you know you wouldn't stand a chance in hell in a straight up fight because you've been in the XWF longer than me, or you have a headache, or you got mad at Atara on social media for the millionth time, or you have too many lesser titles to defend, or your pussy is REALLY, REALLY sore, or whatever other excuse you need to insert to save your oh so fragile ego.
You are emphatically NOT the face of this company. Because a true face of this company would stick around and be proud of what he has. A true face of this company wouldn't dump his X-Treme championship on his middling side piece (hey again Atara-turns out I hate you!) without a fight because yes...we ALLLLLL know that's going to happen. You think you're so coy, so clever! And, perhaps most obviously of all, the face of this company wouldn't publicly disparage it and celebrate LEAVING it. You colossally stupid, self centered ASSHOLE.
Because at the brass tacks level, all you are is a myopic egotistical douchebag who has managed to crawl so far up his own asshole you're arriving just in time to catch the nut juice I dumped down your throat as I SKULL FUCK you.
And just what was your end game here, anyway? Huh? Cash in and retire? So what? So you set me back a few months when the XWF inevitably sets up another tournament to crown a new Universal Champion. A tournament that I will win, making me a TWO time Universal Champion. Great job Fuzz! I'm going to come outta this looking AMAZING. Or maybe you were never actually going to retire at all! Maybe you were actually going to stick around. Brilliant move! Because then, I get to demand an immediate rematch that you CAN'T run from and prove to the world why you refused to face me mano e mano in the first place.
You REALLY didn't think this through, did you?
So by all means, take some more pot shots at who and what I am as you limp out the door. Crib some more of those spicy Sarah Lacklan promo techniques to try to lay down some cover fire for the fact that I'm something unique in the annals of XWF history while you're just another token loudmouth whose promo skills are overshadowed by his kid's. I mean, fuck, you're so STUPID you don't even know what I am, do you? “Killed my mentor”? What the fuck are you even talking about? You think you got me sorted so hard but don't even have the slightest clue what you're facing, do you?!
Also, consider this, as you ride your sadsack ass off into the sunset. Think what you're leaving behind. Noah. Vita. A vicious smile. Atara. If you, by some miracle, manage to pull this cash-in off and leave, do you think for one solitary second that I won't visit my anger out on the people you care about? You think I won't CRUSH them in your stead?! You truly are the dumbest motherfucker on the planet, Fuzz. Talk shit about Gilly all you want, but he's Mensa level compared to you. Mmmmm. Yeah, bitch, I got you good and sorted. Even if you win....I'm gonna guarantee somebody LOSES. But then again, there's that self centered streak of yours again.
Do you finally see, Fuzz? I am where I am in this company because I'm the smartest and the best. Because nobody plays the game like me, as well as me. And because the so called “face of the company” is an overdramatic, oh so online, brain damaged attention whore who's punching up way higher than his weight class.
Yeah, yeah....you can finally rest all right.
In pieces.
Hello Fuzz. And welcome to the B-side. A hidden promo within a promo! Pretty sure I'm the first one to ever do this and yes, I'm really very proud of myself. Now, a bit of explanation is in order. Why hide this promo? Well, because I don't want you to know that I know that you're going to cash in. The people that NEED to know will see this. But you won't ever find it, because honestly....you're kind of a moron. So, hidden within the coding and bops and whistles of my final promotional effort for March Madness...here we are.
Now let ME get one thing out of the way: you're a BITCH. You have always been a bitch and you will always be a bitch. I'll tell you again at March Madness in fact when I flush this whole plan of yours down the crapper. Now I know you'll beg to differ with my appraisal that you're a bitch, but you would be wrong because you, like many bitches, enjoy tucking your genitals between your thighs and urinating in complete submission whenever I approach.
You're a BITCH because your idea of being this irreverent heel badass is shitting up Twitter and breaking up with Atara Themis like five times a day because you forgot to take your bipolar medication. Your idea of being a tough guy is renaming your Twitter handle things like “broken” like you're some menstruating teenage girl who's desperate for attention.
You're also a BITCH because, like the other assholes I mentioned in my promo, you have continued to insist that your cowardice is about ME and not about YOU. You keep saying that I don't matter to you. You keep saying that my title reign is a joke when in reality, it's because melodramatic piss babies like you know you can't beat me, so you've spent the last 3 months mounting a transparent attempt to somehow seem like you're above me when in fact you're just SCARED of me.
Fuzz, if you were a true “legend” you'd be taking care of business. You'd be dropping your nuts on the table and showing this “worthless champion” what for. But you didn't do that. No, you're going to try to cash in on me instead. You're going to ambush me because you know you wouldn't stand a chance in hell in a straight up fight because you've been in the XWF longer than me, or you have a headache, or you got mad at Atara on social media for the millionth time, or you have too many lesser titles to defend, or your pussy is REALLY, REALLY sore, or whatever other excuse you need to insert to save your oh so fragile ego.
You are emphatically NOT the face of this company. Because a true face of this company would stick around and be proud of what he has. A true face of this company wouldn't dump his X-Treme championship on his middling side piece (hey again Atara-turns out I hate you!) without a fight because yes...we ALLLLLL know that's going to happen. You think you're so coy, so clever! And, perhaps most obviously of all, the face of this company wouldn't publicly disparage it and celebrate LEAVING it. You colossally stupid, self centered ASSHOLE.
Because at the brass tacks level, all you are is a myopic egotistical douchebag who has managed to crawl so far up his own asshole you're arriving just in time to catch the nut juice I dumped down your throat as I SKULL FUCK you.
And just what was your end game here, anyway? Huh? Cash in and retire? So what? So you set me back a few months when the XWF inevitably sets up another tournament to crown a new Universal Champion. A tournament that I will win, making me a TWO time Universal Champion. Great job Fuzz! I'm going to come outta this looking AMAZING. Or maybe you were never actually going to retire at all! Maybe you were actually going to stick around. Brilliant move! Because then, I get to demand an immediate rematch that you CAN'T run from and prove to the world why you refused to face me mano e mano in the first place.
You REALLY didn't think this through, did you?
So by all means, take some more pot shots at who and what I am as you limp out the door. Crib some more of those spicy Sarah Lacklan promo techniques to try to lay down some cover fire for the fact that I'm something unique in the annals of XWF history while you're just another token loudmouth whose promo skills are overshadowed by his kid's. I mean, fuck, you're so STUPID you don't even know what I am, do you? “Killed my mentor”? What the fuck are you even talking about? You think you got me sorted so hard but don't even have the slightest clue what you're facing, do you?!
Also, consider this, as you ride your sadsack ass off into the sunset. Think what you're leaving behind. Noah. Vita. A vicious smile. Atara. If you, by some miracle, manage to pull this cash-in off and leave, do you think for one solitary second that I won't visit my anger out on the people you care about? You think I won't CRUSH them in your stead?! You truly are the dumbest motherfucker on the planet, Fuzz. Talk shit about Gilly all you want, but he's Mensa level compared to you. Mmmmm. Yeah, bitch, I got you good and sorted. Even if you win....I'm gonna guarantee somebody LOSES. But then again, there's that self centered streak of yours again.
Do you finally see, Fuzz? I am where I am in this company because I'm the smartest and the best. Because nobody plays the game like me, as well as me. And because the so called “face of the company” is an overdramatic, oh so online, brain damaged attention whore who's punching up way higher than his weight class.
Yeah, yeah....you can finally rest all right.
In pieces.